AS: Finally a pattern emerges

I've not written much about CD's Asperger's so far, because it has just been this big scary set of freaky behaviours that has left me just lurching from one crisis to the next. It's very hard to step back and look at what is really going on when you are constantly fire-fighting. Since his diagnosis in May 2009, I have been reading and researching and following all the wonderfully insightful autie blogs, and very slowly I've started to make sense of the things he does.

Then on Sunday I had a Eureka moment: finally a pattern is emerging. After a horrible week, we've had a good weekend, and I can identify the exact second his mood changed, and now I think I know why. Rewind to last Sunday when he had a new friend to play for the afternoon. The friend introduced CD to a new game. Nothing unusual in that. But CD decided that he wanted to add it to his collection. I've kept him away from the shops since Christmas, so I felt that maybe it was time for me to let him spend some of his money. But I made all the usual noises, trying to defer the purchase, insisting on reading the reviews and checking the suitability. Finally I suggested that we buy a used version on-line, and I said I'd sort it out when I had time. He kept mentioning how much he wanted it during the week, and between times, his behaviour got worse and worse. I finally sat down and placed the order on Saturday. CD gave me a big hug and said 'Thanks' and immediately the meltdowns and the whinging stopped.
I suddenly realised that this was exactly what had happened in the run-up to Christmas. From the beginning of October he started stressing about what to put on his Christmas list to Santa, which had to be posted on 1st November. Then a revised version went in the post early in December. He kept saying that he "couldn't wait 'till Christmas". I'm now beginning to think that this was literally true. It was just too stressful for him to wait. Throughout November and December his behaviour deteriorated. He bought 2 DS games in December, but that didn't help either. Christmas Eve he could not sleep, so neither could I. I nearly lost it, I just remember crying on the stairs at about 4am, as I had no idea how we were going to get through Christmas Day. Then on Christmas morning it was like the clouds parted - after opening his presents, suddenly all was well in CD's world. I'm also worried that this is the behaviour of an addict - the stress while he is waiting for his 'fix' and then the relief when he gets what he wants, which gradually wears off and stops completely when he identifies the next 'want'.

Finally I think I can put a label on one of his major problems - he cannot delay gratification. If he wants something, it has to be NOW. So I've identified one of the problems, the next step is to learn how to deal with it.

Footnote:
He was back to being difficult this morning, and I think it's because the I bought the game on-line, so now he is stressing about which day it is going to arrive. I won't make that mistake again!