Saturday, May 8, 2010

Atlas

Family was not something I thought about for many years. I fell out with my parents in my teens and got a bit bored with my siblings. But I come from a very small family - small, but perfectly formed obviously. There's me and my siblings, our families and my Dad. There's also my Dad's brother, his wife and family, but they live in Australia. And that is about it. I have great aunt, and there are second cousins somewhere, but I don't really know them.

Everything changed when my Mum fell ill. There was no-one else, so we had to pull together. And devastating as it was, Mum's final illness achieved something that nothing else had: it brought the family back together again, and made me appreciate those who are closest to me. Living overseas, I did very little during this crisis. The Irish Ferries plus motorway trek a few times a year with the three kids was about all I could manage. It was very hard for my Dad as well. But a new hero emerged. Drums roll!!! My bro stepped up to the mark and, as the crisis deepened, somehow he found the strength to keep us all going, and to help any family member who needed it.


Our Atlas.



Since we lost my Mum, he's carried on being the Atlas of the family. He arrived on the boat in Dublin on Friday on a hunch that I could do with a break. And yep, he cooked, which was fab. Fixed a few things that would have taken me months or years to screw up the courage to tackle. And told me that he loves coming over cos he finds my house relaxing :-S.

But his most valuable contribution is just in being there for me this weekend: problems always seem to grow legs when you are trying to deal with them on your own. When Angel was little, the first thing I learned was that hooking up with other Mums was the best way to stay calm on the journey through babyhood. Now Angel is almost an adult, but it's not fair to burden her with too much adult sh*t. You need another adult to share it and put it into perspective.

So here's to you bro! And since this is effectively my Gratitude post for the week, to everyone who contacted me during the week and arrived on the doorstep with wine and hugs, a huge THANK YOU!

14 comments:

  1. He sounds great, wish I had one :) x

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  2. I don't have a brother, but if I did I would want him to be like yours. Sounds like a very special man:) Jen.

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  3. auntiegwen and Jen, thank you! This was a bit of a private postie, you know when you just have to let something out, but not really sure if it's of interest?

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  4. Its always lovely when someone steps up to the plate for you and brothers certainly are a special breed of men!! My bro has 3 sisters that he gets to be the hero for and its a role he plays well - so glad you have one too....hope you have a better week knowing you have people on your side. xx

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  5. He sounds like a true hero! My bro is brilliant too - he doesn't visit as much as I'd like but I know if I needed him he'd drop everything. Every girl should have a brother xx

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  6. He's a true gem...what a lovely post to write xxx

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  8. I have a brother and he's not really part of the family, but strangely appears for my kid's birthdays and christmas and then disappears again. I wonder if it would take a major life event for him to be the glue for our family as well? Interesting thought,I am not sure. It's a lovely post and I am so happy for you that he came and gave you a surprise break and a good ear. By the way what's with people bringing you wine and hugs, did I miss something?

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  9. its so nice to have a family member who gets it and steps in and helps, i have 2 brothers who are really good to me and my kids and id be so lost without them. im so glad your feeling better although i wasnt on much last week so missed it all but so glad things are working out now, here is some extra hugs for last week and this week coming xx

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  10. He sounds like a wonderful brother and a great support! Kudos to him xx

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  11. How lovely is that. Now going to catch up...things sound as though they've been tough this week. XX

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  12. So many lovely comments :))) A good brother is definitely a hero.

    Irish Mammy, coolkid and Chic Mama: am trying to keep happy smiley face outwards, but had a health worry for the last two weeks or so and it just became one challenge too many. Now on top of it I think. May blog about it when I can think of an entertaining angle.

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  13. So glad you have such a wonderful caring brother. He sounds fantastic.

    It is really nice, and important, to have someone to turn too.

    I hope all well with you now??!! ((xx)) Jazzy

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  14. Popped over to read your 'Blog Gem'. This is a lovely post. I have 2 brothers and both are useless. I wonder if either of them would step-up in the same way as your brother did. I live in hope but I won't hold my breath!

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