In my school the issue was hair. To be precise: loose hair. And in those BC days (before conditioner) loose hair was pretty wild. The school prefects used to prowl the corridors, and lurk behind corners armed with hair-snapping elastic bands. Your way would be blocked until every last hair was safely tamed into submission.
It was a school rule that hair should be tied back neatly, but most of the time the rule was ignored. The army of elastic-band wielding prefects was only called upon every few months. After a couple of days the campaign would end, we all sighed with relief, and then went back to looking like Kate Bush wannabees.
I was reminded of this yesterday when I heard about an Irish boy who has apparently been told that he can’t go back to school as he has dyed his hair. Worse, his family claim that plenty of girls at the same school have dyed their hair: hardly surprising really since they are teenagers - no-one saw my natural hair colour after I turned 14.
So it seems that very little has changed in the *ahem* 30 years since I left school. And I have had similar issues at times with the schools that my kids attend - brilliant as they are most of the time. But again there are lists of rules that simply aren’t enforced.
This does not make any sense to me: I thought one of the basic rules of parenting is to have rules, clear consequences and always to follow through. Why don't schools do this?
Could this be contributing to the problem of discipline in schools?
I resent being told what to do and always did, even as a child. But I will follow rules if I think they are fair, and apply equally to everyone, So guess what? I don't make my kids stick to the school rules on dress and appearance, because other parents don't either. As for the schools, perhaps they do not have enough staff or enough time. I think it would be totally unfair on my kids if I made them different to their pals by scrubbing her face every morning (Angel) or insisting on the school regulation scratchy jumper (CD).
But meantime, the kids are learning that rules are there to be broken. Perhaps this is why some people in public life seem to believe the same thing?
So what do you think? Are school rules made to be broken?
Heh! You used the word 'prefect'! I have only seen that word in the HP series.
ReplyDeleteYou pose a dilemma, for sure.
I think rules are made to be followed, but when the are not, the consequences are just as your describe - a general disregard for rules.
Barbara
My youngest daughter's school has a very strict dress code and I make sure she sticks to it. When the son was there he had to tie his (longish) hair back for pe, he did, usually with the most girlish hair bands possibe in a very passive aggressive way (I don't know wher he gets it from!)
ReplyDeleteBut I was a teacher so maybe that's why I enforce the school rules.
A difficult one for sure - you don't want your kids to stand out unnecessarily as then other kids have a tendancy to tease/bully but you also don't want to teach your kids that rules can be ignored. Back in my day teachers had more clout in schools than they seem to now. Maybe that was the reason why we went by the rules. Nowadays they aren't so much as allowed to look at a child without someone pulling them up on it......
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I can't really relate to the whole school rules things. In France, there are no uniforms so you wear what you want. Boys had long hair, girls had short hair, some died their hair including me) others didn't. I believe that, to a point, this makes school rules a lot easier to be adhered to. That's a very good point though, do too many rules too early lead to disrescpect for the rules? Probably. Nobody likes to be told what to do all the time right?
ReplyDeleteI went to two different secondary schools. The rules were enfored to the limit in the first, not so much in the second. When I say not so much I mean in the second school we wore our socks down at our ankles and some even wore a bit of jewellery so nothing major. I can tell you though the difference in the atmosphere between the two schools was unbelievable, the second was heaven compared to the first!
ReplyDeleteGuess that can go too far though too. Jen
@barbara - they still have prefects at my daughter's school!
ReplyDelete@auntiegwen - I really admire that you got your children to stick to the rules
@Helen - agree
@Foodie - Yep my kids don't like being told what to do
@Jen - glad you had a good experience at the second school
Ha-ha, in my school (Eastern Europe, 80's) not only did one wear uniform, girls were allowed either short hair or hair in a plait. Which meant, once your hair was long below your ears, a whole arsenal of elastic bands and hairpins got involved. Once our class teacher sent 4-5 girls (including me) during school time to get a haircut! I was too afraid, but the others even got blow-dries perms and spent half the day. This landed us in hot water :-D
ReplyDeleteI'd say a bit of healthy disrespect for the system is a good thing!
Well, I've got one kid in a (SN) uniform school (easy!)& the other in a very loosey-goosey public school whose only dress code rules are pretty practical (and mostly for girls) - no tube tops, no belly baring, no bathing suits, no flip flops, etc. Otherwise, go ahead and express yourself. Which is a good thing since Ethan is a bit of a fashinisto (that's the male version of "fashionista", no?)
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by to link up with Blog Gems today (I know I can always count on you!)
Hmm, so far, there haven't been any appearance related rules issued. Then again, my kid's only in 3rd grade. I think middle school may be different. We'll take it as we see it.
ReplyDelete@Truf - yes I agree that a bit of healthy disrespect is a good thing :)
ReplyDelete@Varda - I love the idea of a fashionisto!
@Magpie - Thanks for commenting :)