Luckily I can run fast.
Sometimes I think it is the only useful quality I have for dealing with aspie boy. I am not calm, I am not patient, I have no interest in computer games, I hate being indoors on sunny days, I do not cope well with getting up at 6am on weekend mornings. And the worst thing someone can do is try to control or manipulate me, and when it's your own child the feelings that are stirred up are quite strong. So a tin of sweet corn is now looking rather dented round the edges and myself and aspie boy are currently in separate rooms.
Do you want to know why?
Well just read on....
For the last number of days, weeks even, all that aspie boy has talked about is the next game that he is getting. It seemed that every day he came up with a new title, and always it as nag, nag, nag about when was I going to order it. But as I patiently reminded him, he hadn't actually liked any of the last three games that had been ordered so I suggested that he was very careful about his choice this time. I even got him to type up a list of the games that he fancied. This was done in a very organised way, in alphabetical order and categorised by console.
So yesterday he announced which one he wanted first and that he really really wanted it. And as soon as possible. Yesterday was a Sunday so I was flat out all day and this morning things were a bit crazy as he was anxious about going on his school trip which actually went very well. But perhaps the anxiety was a sign of what was to come.
I had a lot to do when he came home too, but he was so keen that I decided I would just have toast for tea so I could fit in ordering the game. And just as I confirmed the order he said the following:
"You know some gamers leave the game in the box for while after it arrives..."
I looked at him,
"You don't really want this game, do you?"
Him:
"Well, not as much as I did this morning."
After staying calm for weeks, I'm afraid I lost it at that point. And if anyone can tell me how to stay calm, please let me know. I told him I never wanted to talk about ordering games again so he headed for the door and I ran after him. It wasn't secured like this:
In a few minutes I'm heading out to a special teen disco with Smiley, which will be a great break from the emotional madness of asperger's. I may just dance my socks off as there's no group more unselfconscious and inclusive than teenagers with special needs. Hopefully I'll be able to handle him better when I get back...
Hi Looking for Blue Sky - I know where you are coming from with this. Funnily enough it was my aspergers daughter's birthday a few days ago. For her birthday she got some money and wanted to buy a game but she wanted a game straightaway; she couldn't wait and we had a long-winded discussion about prices and where we would get it from. It ended with her slamming doors, cying and shutting herself in her bedroom because I couldn't go out straight away and get it from a particular shop. I was calm on this occasion but sometimes I'm not particularly if I'm tired or fed up with ASD and life. Don't be too hard on yourself; you sound a fabulous mum and I'm sure after a dance at the disco you'll soon find the energy to handle your son. Deb at aspieinthefamily.com xx
ReplyDeleteCan definitely identify with this post, its the constant hounding and pestering looking for something that wears me down and before you know it I have lost the plot, I even have been known to lock MYSELF into the garden just to calm down from her. I hope the disco will expend some of that stress for you and both parties will be calmer later on xxx
ReplyDeleteI hope you dance your heart out my friend. With the best will in the world we can't be expected to have endless patience. You do a FAB job, pat yourself on the back, tomorrow is another day. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI think this aspect of Aspergers must be beyond frustrating. Because my little dude doesn't have much speech I don't get this behaviour...but he finds other ways of driving me to the point of insanity. Lucky we love them so much, eh? XXX
ReplyDelete@Deb - thanks so much for coming back again and commenting. I've also discovered that my boy cannot wait a lot of the time - we have this problem in the run up till Christmas especially. This time though I'm concerned that he was just playing games with me.
ReplyDelete@Andra - I've been known to lock myself in the car! Our two have a lot in common xxx
@lyndylou - a lot of dancing was done, some with Smiley and some with some of the fab teens x
@Jean - lucky we love them, but that also makes it harder in ways xxx
I hope you danced your socks off xxx
ReplyDeleteBoy do I ever get what you're saying!
ReplyDeleteI can't relate personally but my Sister does respite for children with autism and there was one boy who was exactly like this with the games.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is I hope you danced like mad and are feeling better today.
xx
I guess blogging is a great release for you too. I think you have great patience and are a wonderful Mum with a great love for your children, so don't ever be hard on yourself x
ReplyDeleteDid you have a good dance lovely? I sure hope so.
ReplyDeleteI have zero patience, it is something I would love to gain as one of my kids particularly just sends me wild.
Mich x
@auntiegwen - I did xxx
ReplyDelete@apples and autobots - ((hugs))
@SAHMlovingit - I am feeling better now, thank so much xxx
@diney - blogging really helps me just get all those horrible feelings out, and so long as people want to read my stuff, I'll keep at it. Glad it helps you too x
@Michelle Twin Mum - I think you're being too hard on yourself. Some children are very demanding and they know how to get right under your skin until you feel like you're going crazy. Hang in there, I know you're a great Mum x