Friday, November 18, 2011

Moving On

Most of you will know the stages of grief.  I am feeling numb, and right now I'm in denial.  I expect to wake up some time soon and discover that it was all a bad dream, even as I draft my Dad's obituary.  The tears fall when I meet friends, or find unexpected things: a rubber band borrowed to tie up a cereal packet.  He will never need it back now.

But I have to keep going.  I have three children who keep me very busy, even Angel at 19 still needs her Mammy at times.  And I need to blog.

If I don't write about my Dad, it's not that I am not thinking about him.  It's just that I'm trying to think about something else.  He was always positive about life and living, always looking forward, and I think he would want me to do the same.
 
So I'm moving on.  Slowly.

And blogging will start again properly soon.

21 comments:

  1. I am so very sorry for your loss.
    "He was always positive about life and living..." From your writing(past and present) I can easily say.."Like father like daughter"..and THAT is a lovely tribute and legacy to him..Take all the time that you need..we will be here....

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  2. Wishing you the strength to get through these early and very sad days. Whatever helps you to look forward, you do it. No one would ever think for a minute that you weren't thinking of your lovely dad. We know that you carry the sadness in your heart. Always here if you need to cry, vent or even laugh through the tears xx

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  3. You do what is right for you Blue Sky. Grief is a very individual thing I think and I'm sure no-one will think less of you for not writing about your dad. Deb xx

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  4. I'm so sorry. So sorry. The grief of loosing someone close to you is rough and all-consuming at times. Hang in there. I'm thinking of you and sending virtual hugs and a shoulder if need be. Hugs.

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  5. ah candi have been there you deal with it in your own way no right or wrong way to grieve

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  6. I am so so sorry to hear about ur dad. By the sounds of things, you are so like him. Your children will see you through this like mine did when my mum died. Thinking of you, sending you virtual hugs my friend. P.S. I have been awol from my blog as Jack is back in HDU. Life is such a rollercoaster.

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  7. I lost my father over 14 years ago now, Blue Sky. I think the stages of grief move back and forth and time is something you'll need to give yourself. You doing whatever you need to do to care for yourself and your family is the right thing to do. Goodness, I wish I knew what to say. We all handle grief so differently and in our own time.

    My thoughts are with you and your family,
    Bird many (((hugs)))

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  8. Hugs. I'm 6 months ahead of u and always around to chat or listen. Writing has really helped me to process things.

    X

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss pet! I know how close you were to your Dad. Sending you lots of hugs.xxxxx

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  10. @kathleen - thank you, and its cheered me up to read that my blog doesn't come over as one long moan..

    @Petunia - thank you, you've all been amazing xx

    @Deb - thank you for understanding xx

    @Lizbeth - thank you, virtual hugs are good.

    @Ita - you've know idea how much it means to me that you took the trouble to comment here xx

    @lyndylou - thinking of you too and it means so much that you took the time to comment when Jack is so ill ((hugs))

    @Bird - thank you for understanding

    @hpretty - yes the writing really does help x

    @Mammy DoLittle - Aww thanks xxxxx

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  11. Just read this now and I am so sorry to hear that my dear friend. I know that we shared this journey with our Dads, mine just hanging in and yours seeming happy recently. Far from a moan I have always loved the forthright truth and sense of celebration in your blog. You must have got that from him. I send you a big hug, and all my love. X

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  12. @Foxglove Lane - Thank you for your lovely words..and also for your blog, which is always uplifting x

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  13. Big hugs...I remember what it was like losing my dad almost 5 years ago, and now as we prepare to bury my sister on Friday I feel the heartache again :(
    I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain for you just a little.

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  14. You do what you have to Blue Sky and grieve in your own way. I can't think of a better person to write your dad's obituary as I know from your writing here that it will be warm, loving and meaningful. Let your children, and your blog when you're ready, help you through this sad time. I too am here for you WHENEVER you need ;-)

    xx Jazzy

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  15. @Erin - So so sorry to read about your sister and your dad, that's sounds really horrendous to have to cope with ((hugs))

    @The Expat Wife - Thank you x

    @Jazzygal - I knew you'd understand xx

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  16. So glad you posted on my blog today, feels like it was right for both of us.
    I feel huge empathy with anyone going through bereavement after losing my mum this year. Mum had cancer too.
    Grief has been all about those rubber band moments you describe, and trying to hold on to the positives. Like you I found it hard to know how I wanted to blog, or what I should blog. What I did blog wasn't huge, but really helped me. I found my friends who read it had a better idea of how I felt without having to ask, and other bloggers gave me lots of support.
    Now every Thursday I blog about one positive legacy my mum left me. It keeps me sane. Sometimes, people join me. You would always be welcome :)
    Sending you strength Penny x

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  17. Grief is such a roller coaster ride but you'll get through it with the help and support of others. You know that you are on my mind right now. Big hugs to you xx

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  18. What SAHMlovingit said.

    And, having recently suffered the pain of my mother's death, I know. Taking a cue from you to get back to blogging asap. I believe it is therapeutic, too.

    A(nother) friend of mine said, "we are never prepared to lose our parents". So right.

    Barbara

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  19. so so sorry lovely,

    stay strong and thinking of you x

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  20. @The Alexander Residence - Penny I really appreciate your words, it's good to get a perspective from someone who knows x

    @SAHMLovingIt - Thanks Heather x

    @TherExtras - I'm glad you're back blogging too

    @northernmum - Thanks Jane x

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