That thing that happens to a kid with asperger's when the good times are over. No drink involved...
The house is quiet, too quiet and the grey clouds massing outside the window match the heavy thoughts inside my head. If I switch off the radio, the only sound in the kitchen is Smiley's breathing. Her Darth Vader impression is a daily reminder that her lungs will never be great. But from the other room I might hear the sound of a small boy sobbing. He is heart broken since his uncle and cousin returned to Wales after the staycation. It's like a mammoth hangover.
He has had just two topics of conversation in the last few days: his worries about his eyes and getting a passport so that he can go over to see them. And this is a child who is afraid to go upstairs on his own. Or so he says. But apparently he will be fine as an unaccompanied minor on his first ever air flight! The endless repetition is wearing me down, especially as the eye updates start soon after 6, and his obsession with their health is seriously affecting his anxiety.
I brought him to the GP, I brought him to the optician, he told his therapists. They were all very nice to him. And gently suggested that he cut down the amount of time he spends on his laptop.
I'm not accepting that," he says. "I want a cure."
So I've bought some anti-histamines, just in case. Apparently they don't work. Eye drops are next on the shopping list. I'm not convinced that they will work either.
He also says that the TV is affecting his eyes. Apparently he needs a new one with a bigger screen. I said that Santa might oblige. So now he won't play with any of his consoles until Christmas and nor will he have friends over to the house because they will need a TV to play their games. What to do? Perhaps the eye problem is caused and fed by a mixture of anxiety, a little hayfever, a bit of tiredness, and too much screen time. If you have any ideas, please don't keep them to yourself!
I have distractions organised for each day: with friends, family or appointments and they perk up his mood at the time. But as soon as he is home alone with his family he 'starts' again. Which is how I found myself in the garden at 7 am this morning in my pyjamas playing catch over the trampoline enclosure.
I never caught up all day.
On the other hand, like a hangover, the passport issue is leading to good intentions. I told him all the things he had to manage by himself, if he was to go somewhere on his own...and the list is being tackled. I'm starting to hope that it will take a long time to get that passport!
Written with the permission of my son