So you think I have aspergers?

Because some people do.

And this is where the evidence starts: I look at that sentence and start to worry.  Is it okay to type that?  Is the expression 'some people' acceptable?  To me it is simply a statement of fact, but I am well aware that what I say and write is often over interpreted.  That layers of meaning are added that I did not intend.  Perhaps this is why I love reading books but couldn't see the point of English Literature classes!

I've always felt a bit different, I've always struggled to fit in, but I assumed that this was normal.  I knew very little about Asperger's Syndrome when my son was diagnosed, and I certainly did not recognise myself, nor sometimes my son, in the recommended books.

But then this test started flying around Facebook.  It was designed for adults to indicate if they have autistic traits.  You can try it yourself here:

http://www.aspergerstestsite.com/75/autism-spectrum-quotient-aq-test/#.UF7UChzB9eU

I've taken the test a couple of times, and answered the questions in a very conservative way, but my score is consistently around 29.  Three points higher and the results suggest I should seek 'professional medical advice'.  What?  I was shocked.  Not just by my score, but by how some of my friends got scores below 10.  How was that possible?  I had thought that almost  everyone was like me!

I have more evidence, but if you take aspergers and autism very seriously, you may want to look away now:

I had several very serious interests as a child: coin collecting, bird watching, house design and more.  But perhaps that was because we had no TV?

I learned the capitals of every country in the world.  For fun.

I love boxes and lever arch folders.  They mean order.  Even toys were always boxed as far as possible.  And I have all household bills and correspondence for the past 20 years carefully filed so I can check stuff if necessary.  That does happen, honest!

I dislike the smell of perfume and aftershave.  In fact as far as possible everything has to be unscented!

I never leave home without lip salve and hand cream...I hate the feeling of dry hands and dry lips..

I bored a whole class in primary school once with a long winded demonstration of origami which the teacher had to bring to a halt before everyone fell asleep.

Preferred reading: children's books, science fiction, fantasy.  On TV I've no interest in Coronation Street but love Dr Who.

Discipline and direction make me angry and annoyed, unless it's work-related, and I'm being paid.

I was rubbish at ball sports, I couldn't see the ball without my glasses or if the sun was out, I couldn't catch it and if it came anywhere near me, I ducked!

Then I became self absorbed and self centred teenager who saw herself as a collection of faults.  But is that so unusual?  I didn't really grow out of that stage, so blogging is perfect therapy for me.

But I worked in PR for years I hear you cry?  Ah but I was a back office worker, wheeled out for the occasional meeting and pitch but rarely asked to attend events.  I have a history of hiding in the ladies toilet rather than facing the challenge of networking with a bunch of confident strangers.   Yet I don't mind public speaking about a subject that interests me.  

So you think I have Asperger's? My friends seem to accept me just the way I am, so perhaps it doesn't matter.

(It does matter to my son: his label is the gateway to services, information, help and support)

NB: This post was based on notes jotted down over many months and pulled together in my head while I washed my hair and typed up while I slowly fed my daughter her breakfast, in case anyone is wondering why I am moaning so much about being tired, having no free time and yet still blogging!