And on Wednesday his achilles heel was discovered by another boy in the school.
Mayhem ensued. And confusion. There was hitting and there was shouting and not just by my son. But that's boys, right?
I think it was the disrespect to the teaching staff that was the last straw.
He was sent to the principal and came home in a very angry mood, not for the first time this term. And I tried to calm him down. Again. But he's mostly happy in school. He has told me so. Yet many evenings are spent calming him down enough so that next morning he agrees to get on the bus and go back in.
On Wednesday he did calm down fairly quickly, but it took its toll on me, and on his big sister. We had planned to leave the younger two with their (adult) babysitter and go to see a film - a rare Mum and daughter outing - but I didn't think it would be fair on anyone to go out with my son in such a volatile mood.
So we stayed at home.
Now I see that we could have gone, but, at the time, all the tension that I'd been bottling up and smiling through came tumbling out uncontrollably and noisily. It was not pretty.
The next day there was more confusion as my son had told me that the school wanted me to go in for a meeting. Apparently that was a misunderstanding. They told him that he could not go on the school outing on Friday. This was to be his punishment. So his response was school refusal. I got around that by taking him in myself and asking for a meeting with the principal. This was useful and another meeting is planned next week to look at better ways to help him to calm himself when he goes into meltdown, and some other issues.
So my son ended up spent the morning helping the staff in the school and he enjoyed it...
That wasn't a punishment, he says, that was great!
AND the principal told him to be nicer to his mother, and that has to be good. Maybe this week's crisis was necessary. Maybe that lad finding my son's achilles heel was for the best. I hope so.
Note: I still think that I should stop blogging about my son as he careers towards secondary school, but I haven't quite managed it yet, and he was happy for this to be published x
Sorry you've had a tough time; hopefully the meeting will help you find ways to help your son. I know what you mean about blogging; am in a dilemma myself. I'm getting closer to killing my blog off now; I never thought I'd get to this point but I want to move on from autism stuff and do something different. Deb x
ReplyDeleteOh no Deb, am sorry to hear that :( Even if you do stop writing it, there's no need to delete it? I'm not planning to delete mine, but it may have to move away from special needs as my kids get older, but that's fine with me x
DeleteI am also sorry that the week has been a bit tough and that you missed out on your mother and daughter time. Thank your boy from me for giving his permission for you to still blog about him.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to re-arrange, I just love that she wants to go places with me :)
Deletesorry to hear you are having a tough time. I know what you mean about blogging, my blog has moved on from just autism awareness.
ReplyDeleteI hope that the school continue to work with you a well good luck xxx
Life changes doesn't it? And so your focus does too I guess. I've been very lucky with the schools, they've all worked with me xxx
DeleteOh crikey. What a stressful time. Meltdowns as our kids get older are sometimes a bit scarey! I hope your weekend is a lot calmer. Your son is lucky that he has a great advocate in you. x
ReplyDeleteThanks JB and yes I find the meltdowns very upsetting x
DeleteThose meltdowns are exhausting enough whem they're 3yo - it must be absolutely draining when they're 11. I hope you get your cinema outing another night.
ReplyDeleteOh we will :)
DeleteI know that I'm lucky... Patrik doesn't have (yet) the meltdowns like that. I hope he never will. I'm sorry that you had such a lousy week... Well, weekend will be better!
ReplyDeleteThe weekend is a lot better thank you!
DeleteOuch. Sounds intensely stressful for all involved. Hope the weekend was calmer and you all managed to get back on an even keel again. Meltdowns are upsetting, but sometimes the aftermath can leave a bit of light at how to avoid another one. Or, at least, how to deal with it next time. xxx
ReplyDeleteThe weekend has been sooo much better, thanks, and yes each time there is a crisis, I learn something, and more help is usually offered to both of us too xxx
DeleteI am so glad to hear that you're getting help from the school, I hope they listen to you too because YOU have helpful insights too. I hope coping strategies are put in place and that, in time, your fabulous boy can recognise in time how 'his engine feels' and can put the strategy in place in time .... even if that means leaving the classroom. That is sometimes the best thing they can do, think of a key word that he can use to look for 'private time' or something like that? Of course always watching out for them using it as an excuse to escape a subject they don't like!! They can be sooo clever too ;-)
ReplyDeletexx Jazzy
Awww, sounds really stressful and sorry you didn't get to go on your cinema outing. Unfortunately kids are very good at finding weaknesses, be it in their peers or their teachers. I hope that your son's isn't exploited again anytime soon and that the school continue to deal with it in what seems to be a sensible and caring manner. Ps starting Tuesday I'm volunteering one day a week in the local SEN school. I look forward to seeing a fair few meltdowns of my own before long!!!:) xX
ReplyDelete