Sunday, December 2, 2012

Aspergers and the jar of peanut butter


Peanut butter on toast is my son's current breakfast of choice.

He knows how he likes it too:

Two slices of white sliced bread from Lidl toasted on '2', taken out while still warm and spread with Panda Crunchy Peanut Butter.

I can make this in about 2 minutes.

But as a responsible Mammy I am trying to get my son to make his own breakfast.

Yesterday it was 11.05 before he FINALLY sat down to eat it.  And when I say 'sit', there was a fair bit of wandering around the kitchen involved too.

The breakfast-making began around 9am.  I get that his aspergers means he needs relaxation time and lots of it.  Currently this involves lying on the sofa with his laptop while wrapped in a duvet.  I pop in to remind him about breakfast at regular intervals, focusing on the health benefits and how it will improve his gaming skills...

I was delighted to see a loaf left on the counter at about 10.30 as it meant that he had actually got off the sofa, and put the bread in the toaster all by himself.  I praised him and went back to brushing Smiley's hair.

But he went back into the living room and forgot about his toast.

I saw it peeping over the top of the toaster and went back in again to remind him.

It was rejected as too cold.  I feared that a new start would be needed, but luckily he agreed to my idea to warm it up.

Next problem, removing the bread from the toaster.  Usually I get cries of "It's too hot, Mum!"

But being merely warm, this went okay too.

I directed him to get down the peanut butter to spread it on the toast.

"Oh no, I can't Mum, it look gross!"

It looks gross, but you want to eat it, son?

Mind does mental backflip.

"Why?" I ask.

"All those yellow scrapy bits on the side of the jar," he replies.

Other days he's complained about it being too 'liquidy'.

So no spreading practice today then.  And yes, he does need to practice.  Fine motor skills are still a problem.  His grip is not optimal, but the way that I do it is not 'comfy'.  So I'm working on other ways to help him.

But the boy has to eat!  So we'll do it all again tomorrow...

21 comments:

  1. ok so 2nd time at trying to post a comment as the dog stood on the keyboard the first time.............Breakfast time in our house is a minefield. FD is either screaming that I am trying to force feed her if I so much as put breakfast in front of her. Or, she will have a teeny bowl of cereal with about 6 bits of cereal in it and this takes a flippin age to eat! I hate breakfast time! lol.

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    1. Oh yes, with my eldest daughter speed of eating would be the issue - 1 1/2 hours per meal when she was little and I had no internet to entertain me either then!

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  2. I like the way you tell this :-) Fair play to you both.

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  3. I like the way you tell this :-) Fair play to you both.

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  4. I like that breakfast too, and, strangely, I often don't get to it until 11.05! Usually though, at 11.05 I'm on my third round.

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    1. Ah but I bet you don't start making it so early!

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  5. The only two persons in our house that eat proper breakfast are Loris and J. Patrik eats only slice of bread, without anything. He can't stand anything to be put on it... As for me... I eat breakfast only when I'm in UK or Ireland... That means I ate my breakfast approximately 1 month (all together) in my life... I know that's not OK... but that's me... I might change that, but don't know how...

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    1. I don't think breakfast works for everyone, but it is generally considered pretty important for school kids, so I persist...

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  6. For all the seriousness that is in this post I enjoyed reading it. I can offer no advice but I am very jealous of your son lying on the couch in a duvet with his laptop!

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    1. It was meant to be a little bit entertaining as well :)

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  7. loved your post
    I must start doing some of this too ..
    its just so much easier to do it for them

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  8. Reading this, I'm reminded of just how patient you have to be every day. You're amazing. x

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    1. If only they sold jars of patience in Tesco it would be sooo much easier! x

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  9. So is this an Aspergers thing then, this not doing anything for himself and taking forever to do it? I thought it was just a typical teen thing with my son. I didn't really clock his Aspergers on this one. What I notice is he can get to really extreme states of hunger or cold without it occuring to him to do something to help himself out of it (making toast or putting on a jumper). And I recognize this thing about not wanting to touch anything that looks at all dubious - I always have a pile of fruit that has been rejected because of minor blemishes.

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    1. It may be a bit of both, sometimes it's hard to know. I've only got his big sister to compare with and she was pretty independent by age 11...

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  10. Sigh, I still make Nick's toast. I take my hat off to you for encouraging your boy to make his own.... even if it did take most of the morning!! Good luck for tomorrow!

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    1. It's all about baby steps isn't it? He admitted to me this morning that he is getting better at spreading :)

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  11. Sounds like my eldest daughter who would quite happily not eat anything if it wasn't right. She doesn't have an aspergers diagnosis though I am convinced she has autistic traits. Her difficulties with food; texture, smell and taste can affect her so much she will not eat for hours becaause its not right. I'm forever trying to find ways to help her have a better diet but to be frank I don't think things will properly improve until she has control over her own life and diet.

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    1. My son will just demand that I make other food available!

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