Because I think they are. I also try to avoid reading them if I can, but sometimes I don't succeed.
Very few are blatantly anti-parent, and there's many articles out there that include lots of interesting ideas, and useful information, but so many of them also suggest that most autism parents do everything wrong by their children, up to and including murder. It's not just the adult autistic community that criticises autism parents either: it's teachers, service providers, friends, family, parents, other autism parents, the general public. Just about everyone, in fact.
Perhaps I am just too fragile to be able to cope with these messages. I certainly never came across anything like them as the mother of a severely disabled daughter. Most people are kind and supportive to me in that role, charities lay on wonderful events for us to enjoy, like the fabulous day we had on Sunday. I thought I was a good enough Mum until autism entered my life: Angel's biggest complaint is that I used to make her walk home from the swimming pool! Reading all the posts that demonise autism parents just sends my self-esteem plummeting once again. If I hate myself, how can I help my children to feel good about themselves, and poor self-esteem is a big issues for many autistics.
What will happen when impressionable autistic teenagers start to read these articles and accept their subliminal messages that their parents are to blame for everything that they perceive is wrong in their lives? How is that going to help them? How will they feel about being told that the two people who they should be able to count on to help and support them could actually be their worst enemies? What will happen to their sense of security, safety and trust? Will it not just increase the anxiety that many of them are prone to already?
And then there's the effect on parents. Knock them too much and they may just give up and let their kids face the consequences of their choices to play video games all day, and eat nothing but pizza. After all, what's the point if they're going to grow up and blame the parents anyway?
I read another post recently that suggested that many parents drug their children for their own convenience. Are psychiatrists really that gullible that they would prescribe drugs because the parents can't cope, rather than because the child needs them? The post also ignored all the parents who choose to drug themselves instead - whether with prozac or pinot grigio - in the belief that it will help them to be better parents.
You see most autism parents are trying their very best, yet many commentators still expect us to have the stamina and feelings of robots... and you wonder why I wrote a post wishing that I could be a Stepford Wife - it had nothing to do with husbands.
Note: I wrote this after having my version of a meltdown on Facebook involving some of my friends. I hope that they will forgive me.
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