Loosening the apron strings

I have an impressive filing system, even if I do say so myself. I can find gas bill from any time in the past 20 years within 5 minutes. But it's not just bills I keep, it's everything home related.

Each year I begin a new folder, and there is a section for each member of the family. It's where I put everything from school letters to medical information to stuff that might interest them. Usually they are pretty full. So it came as a big surprise to me yesterday when I opened Angel's tab for 2015. Because it was empty. No more do I deal with any of her paperwork. How did that happen? Somehow we've managed a fairly smooth transition from girlhood to adult status.

For the last 22 years I have been living in the present as much as possible, important when you're a special needs mum. Of course Angel does not have special needs, and I've mostly muddled through as her Mum between all the other stuff. I had no checklist of skills she needed to achieve, goals she had to get or information that she needed to know. Most of it just happened naturally and a a very few we're still working on, but we'll get there, we always do.

Some things did happen by design. She's at College, but living at home. That could be awkward as she needs space and independence: she's grown up and wants to do her own thing. But this is a busy family with a lot going on. So when we moved back home I gave the largest bedroom to her. It's probably the size of a small bedsit, and I did offer to get her a sofa, but that was one step too far for her. Anyway lolling on the bed is better, apparently. Since then I have bought her a mini fridge and a kettle, a travelling iron and ironing pad. So she is pretty self sufficient up there apart from her meals. You'd think that she might live up there and never venture down stairs. But the opposite has happened. Now that she doesn't have to come downstairs, she does it anyway, when she chooses, because she wants company, wants to share something, or wants to see her siblings, and I'm spending more time chatting with her than I did during the teenage years.

I don't know how much longer she will be here. But I'm treasuring every moment, even as I slowly let the apron strings slip through my fingers.




14 comments:

  1. This is lovely to read just a really good way to have things I like the idea of that freedom but being close to family still x

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  2. Aww! That is so lovely to read! I would love to have the room to give my girls their own space when they are older just so they never have to leave home....hehehe

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  3. That is so lovely and a sign of your strong relationship too I have no doubt.

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    1. I think it's a strong relationship, I hope I'm right :)

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  4. You have a such a lovly relationship with Angel. You are both very special people to have let the challenges of the past 18 years only bring you closer. I've said this before, but I love reading about Angel as it makes me look forward to a time when my DD and I might have a similar adult relationship - I hope I navigate towards this as well as you did. xxx

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    1. From reading your posts it sounds to me as though you're always going to have a wonderful relationship with your DD xxx

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  5. I am so glad that it is working out for you both. You are so fortunate that she didn't have to go elsewhere to study. Lovely post. xx

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    1. At the time I told her that it would have to be Dublin :) xx

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  6. this is such a nice idea. I remember craving a bit of independence from my mum in my younger years but didnt want to actually leave home at that point. This seems a perfect solution. x

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    1. Thank you! I'm thrilled that there is so much interest in this post :)

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  7. *Sobs* So beautiful a story and such a credit to you on so many levels :) X

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