Blog goals for 2016

Apparently this is a thing now. But I've never had goals for my blog, it has always been a hobby, somewhere to let off steam, practice my writing, express my thoughts and frustrations, and create something interesting, entertaining and even pretty. I like trying to keep up with current trends in blog design, and who knows when that knowledge and experience might prove useful?


I enjoy the perks of blogging - the outings, events and freebies - and my relationship with Netflix continues, so there will be more posts about what we are watching.

I'm also frustrated - most of my life and my thoughts are occupied by my children and their needs. But as you know I try not to write about autism any more, unless it's in a very general way. Which is hypocritical of me because I now feel starved of useful information, as almost no one else writes about teenagers with autism either, so I've no idea whether things are "normal" here or not. And thank you to those rare parents who do write about their teenagers, you help me and my children more than you will ever know. But I dare not link to you here in case you get a backlash from the parent haters.

Yep, I'm mentioning them again.

Last night I read another autism parent hating article by mistake, and it made me want to give up completely, stop writing, stop advocating, stop trying to improve the lives of my children. Just crawl back into my off line cave and stay there. Perhaps I should just "accept them exactly as they are", not try to help them fit into a society that expects them to conform and pay their way. Will their special needs elders and betters look after them when I'm gone, or give up? Clearly as an "attention seeking parent" who writes about her children, I am not worthy of being their mum.

I'm still feeling angry and upset this morning, and I need to let it out somewhere, so better here than in the house, right?

Yet the teenage years are so crucial! I sometimes think that society actually just wants us to cocoon our special children for those years until they emerge as fully fledged adults, and obviously this is to happen without the need for resources, on line help, real life support or anything else.

People don't really want to know about families like mine, do they? It disturbs their happy bubble about how life is supposed to be.

Perhaps I'm only writing this because with school, work and adult services starting back tomorrow it's stress central here, and right now I'm wondering if this blog will ever again include anything except Netflix updates and my weekly free therapy sessions on Thursdays, aka reasons to be cheerful. But I've said similar things before, and always bounced back.

I hope it happens again this year, and really that's the best blog goal I could have for 2016.

Just keep on writing.

18 comments:

  1. Oh, my.........
    I hate it when people think go on, because e normal now that Peter is an adult.
    Not EVER gonna happen.
    And I don't think sheltering him away from the world is good for me any of us.
    Some people want an autism world where the kids will be happy. BUT, when you have other family members have to be considered.
    So, while Peter is on the spectrum, we try to gently get him into our world - with security from us around him. There is no exclusively autistic world, so we have to take him by the hand and have him with us.
    Some people join the ride and are great. Embrace Peter and all his quirks, others, well......... Just make sure you get money to bail me out!!!!
    What we do works for us, life rumbles on.

    In a way, I'm glad we don't have school, college stuff to deal with. That is hassle I don't need!!

    Netflix - haven't got that techie yet. But I can stream film through my kindle stick!!!

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    1. Yes to all of this, and very glad that you've found some people who embrace your son xx

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  2. Oh God. You just need to ignore these parent-hater people. I couldn't bear to read such posts. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and people blog and parent as best they can. Who is anyone else to judge anyone else? I really hate that. Just keep blogging as you want to, if someone doesn't like it let them press the 'next blog please' button - as you would switch a TV channel. You know you, through this blog, offer hope and inspiration to others and it also gives you something . Never knock 'free therapy' I say!!

    I agree with you on the other blogging issue you mention. That said I do have some blogging goals for this year, but only to make myself better at it :) xx

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    1. Being better at blogging sounds like a blog post in itself :) I look forward to seeing where you head with Jazzygal :) xx

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  3. Don't stop writing please...People do want to know! They do. Unfortunately some advocates have gotten so over zealous in their advocacy..That they have forgotten a large population of autistic adults and young adults. There are quite a few advocates that base EVERYTHING on their own experiences while at the same time forgetting that there are many other people whose experiences are quite different. It has been incredibly detrimental to those seeking supports and services for family members who are unable to advocate for themselves. I have become more careful in what I write about-I discuss my kid posts with my kids BEFORE I post them...and if they are uncomfortable-I don't post them. I'm sorry that it has been stress central for you -I hope that getting back in to the school routine etc. helps with it all.

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    1. Thanks Kathleen. I think that many advocates seem to have tunnel vision alright: one solution for all, when it isn't like that at all. I'm trying to stay as anonymous as I can for the sake of my kids - well mainly my son - and to mostly avoid writing about him, at least until he's happy to share his story once again.

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  4. Oh Candi, I hear you!!!! You pretty much summed up why I stopped writing. Unfortunately trolls exist everywhere but being able to hide behind a computer screen brings out the worst in many people. However without us both writing we never would have "met"!! Hugs and prayers to you and your wonderful kiddos.

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    1. I really miss your blog Julie, and your honest comments on other people's too x

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  5. Do you know what? It is your space, the posts I have read have been informative and useful, and if you need to vent then you should be able to too. I hate that people judge, life is not a perfect bubble and you voice is so important it helps others. I aim for a perfect live all the time but it never happen, thats life x

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    1. Thanks Sarah, I'm glad that you found some of the posts useful, that's always great to hear x

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  6. I think you should just do whatever you want to do and not care about what other people think (easier said than done, I know). Look, there will always be people judging other people, telling them they are better parents and so on. That's why I don't read parenting articles and I'm not part of any special needs or even parenting groups. I do what I think is best for my kids, and take advice from professionals. I love reading your blog and I never thought you went overboard with anything you wrote especially related to autism.
    As for the blogging goals, I decided not to have any this year. I did last year and it didn't work, so I'm not putting pressure on myself! Happy new year :-)

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    1. I'm all for not putting too much pressure on myself either, Happy New Year to you and your family :-)

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  7. Your blog was one of the first i came across when needing 'help' with autism and knowing how to cope with J and your blog has been hugely helpful to me on so many occassions. I find I don't like to write about the negatives and difficult days we have with J anymore partly because he is growing up and getting towards those teenage years, partly because i don't want to remember or focus on the bad times even though i know that sometimes it is important to do so. I have an offline friend whose son has had a similar difficult schooling history as my son and she is always telling me how helpful my blog is to her - and yet i think to myself that i barely write specifics about it anymore - but i think when she sees J's positive days it helps her and her son so i guess if she finds that helpful in itself then i shouldn't feel bad about not writing about the other stuff. As for blogging goals - i've never had any but just muddle through. Hope 2016 is good to you. xxx

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    1. Thank you so much - your comment is exactly what I needed to read this evening, as once again I found myself trying to avoid being drawn into the debate. I enjoy your posts about J too, and find them helpful - I can always take something from them to help me be a better parent to my son xxx

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  8. I have learned so much about Autism from you and Jazzy and one of the biggest lessons is not to be scared of it. The only way I 'got it' was through reading about everyday family life that you both protrayed when the boys were younger. I sometimes get hate comments when I post about Israel but I have the last laugh because I just don't publish those comments. I hope they come back to see if I have and are frustrated when I haven't.

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    1. So sorry that you got hate comments and fair play to you for ignoring them and carrying on - I am lucky that I have not really had that problem, perhaps because this blog is fairly low key?

      Thank you also for your kind words about how my blog and Jazzy's, and it totally proves the importance of what parent bloggers do xx

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  9. I don't understand why some people hate autism parents. Ive come across some of these articles myself and it makes for a depressing read. I avoid them now and focus on what I think is right for me and my family. That is my job as a parent, something that I wish some people would respect. With regard to the teenage years, it's tricky because you've got an adolescent who just happens to be autistic. So, sometimes we're dealing with adolescence just like other families of teenagers and other times it's the autism or the combination of both. Much of this is about identity and where they fit into the world. My son is very definitely going through this and is becoming somewhat anti his autism. He doesn't want to be defined by it and wants to be like everyone else. We follow his lead but of course he also needs to accept his autism in order to access support and benefits etc. it's a tricky thing to manage and I'm finding I'm having to change my approach to reflect what he wants. As for blogging I don't really blog special needs any more. My son is nearly an adult and my daughter is now in her teens so it's not appropriate for me to discuss them anymore. It's their story now but this doesn't mean special needs isn't part of my life. Special needs still impacts on my life and probably always will but I think the time has come for me to do other things and to rebuild my life away from SEN. However I'm finding this is a lot harder than I thought. Deb

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and commenting once again Deb,

      I suppose the way I'm dealing with all this, is to raise issues without personalising them - even though I know that people like personal stories more. I need information to help me be a better parents, and I find that other parents - and bloggers - often have better answers than the professionals.

      I'm very glad that you now feel able to build a life away from SEN, even if it is difficult.

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