The drive to write has mostly gone. As I predicted.
The pills have done their job though. Feelings have been mostly squashed, so I've been a lot calmer, more productive and handled people and situations like a proper grown up. At least some of the time. There is now a brake on the urge to spill and I've realised that time sorts out most issues. Of course that can mean years, and I suspect it will in the case of the biggest worry in this family.
February saw lots of autism ups (at home) and a few downs (elsewhere).
February saw me getting praise again for looking after Smiley. With the alternative being what exactly?
I still see it as a joy and a privilege. Sure I get very tired and overwhelmed at times and I do need support with her care, because she needs attention and help at all times, preferably from a team of people! The more, the better. in her opinion. But she doesn't try to control me or dump on me, or assume I'm always available, she just asks - in her own way. And her beautiful smiley thank yous are more genuine, and more rewarding than almost anything else in my life right now. And that's enough for me.
February also saw something new: a monthly 'to do' list, inspired by reading about Bullet Journals. They sounds lovely, but too time consuming for me. The new list did help though. It meant I knew that everything not done in January was brought forward and, as the days passed and I ticked items off the list, it helped with those ever present feelings of overwhelm and brought back a sense of control. Yeah I know it's an illusion, but still!
And it's taken me a stupid amount of time to write this very short post, maybe in March that will change. I hope so.
Reasons to be Cheerful: Family Fun #R2BC - Late to the party again this week! Hope Michelle can forgive me... It has been a rollercoaster week but I have had a few things that have made me smile: ...